This iPhone feature can radically improve life and relationships

This iPhone feature can radically improve life and relationshipsThis iPhone feature can radically improve life and relationshipsRecently, I read a book about a man named Matthew Cowley, who was an incredible missionary and humanitarian to the people in New Zealand over 100 years ago.The book detailed the mans life and one thing really stood-out to me. Throughout Cowleys life, he was regarded by thousands of people to be a truly good friend.This subject spoke to me because friendship is becoming an increasingly complex and confusing topic.What does it mean to be a good friend?What does being a good friend look like in a world of constant connection?Cowley lived long before the internet. But he did a few things that are extremely relevant that I think all of us could do today. Moreover, with new technologies, we can actually make ur friendships even mora intimate than ever.The two things Cowley did well wereRemember peoples names, important aspects of them, and even birthdaysHe would o ften write heartfelt and humorous letters to people throughout the yearsIn this article, Im going to briefly share how to radically enhance your memory, since remembering key details is essential to becoming a good friend.Im also going to explain why the iPhone audio-text message feature is potentially one of the fruchtwein powerful tools for developing deep and meaningful friendships. Without question, when you become a good friend, you will change peoples lives. Youll pull people out of slumps you didnt even know they were in. Youll be an answer to their prayers. Youll give them strength in times of need. Youll cheer them up and allow them to appreciate the small things in life. Youll trigger memories theyve long since forgotten.By the end of this article, you will understandHow to improve your memoryHow to become an incredible friendHow to take the fruchtwein from your experiences in lifeHow to positively transform yourself and also transform othersHow motivation works (and how t o have limitless motivation)How identity is formed, and how to reshape your identity and become the best version of yourselfHow to connect deeply with anyoneA quick primer on enhancing your memory (which is required to be a good friend)When you train your creativity, you automatically train your memory. When you train your memory, you automatically train your creative thinking skills - Tony BuzanIve recently written a post about how to enhance your memory. Without question, most people fail to utilize their long-term memory. There is no limit to the storage of memories we can have. Our subconscious has an infinite bandwidth.Most peoples schwierigkeit is that they lack powerful strategies for enhancing memory. Heres a simple breakdownMemory is all about imaginationThe mora imaginative you are when formulating a memory, the stronger that memory isMemory is about connecting what you already know with what you are trying to knowWhen it comes to remembering names, you want to link that parties name with aleidher feature of that person, and connect it to something meaningful to youI recently met a person named Jacob, which was easy because I have a brother named Jacob. I tried to be mindful about how this new Jacob may remind me of my brother - even if in a landseemingly ridiculous way. It doesnt matter how ridiculous the connection is. In fact, the more imaginative the better. And the more connections you make, the deeper the memory will be forged.Put simply, you can remember nearly every persons name you meet if you actually give attention and care. Ask a few questions about the person when you meet them and while youre actively listening, make imaginative connections that trigger a deep memory.I know Ill never forget that kid, Jacobs name. .I know that my memory is infinite and powerful. I know that your memory is infinite and powerful.In order to be a good friend, you need to remember people. Firstly, you need to remember their name, but you also need to remem ber key details about them. Once you get good at memory, you can remember lots and lots of details in a short amount of time.Which brings me to writing letters. And really, which brings me to the iPhone. This is an article about an iPhone feature after all.Audio-texting is the new hand-written letter for good friendsHand-written letters are indeed important. In a world of digital and surface-level communication, nothing is more powerful that a personal touch.However, I recently became aware of the audio-text message feature on my iPhone. And after reading about Matthew Cowley, I decided to departeure sending audio letters to my friends and family.While writing in my journal one night, several people departureed popping into my head. When someone would pop into my mind, Id pull out my phone and send them and audio-text message.Sometimes, the people who came to my mind were old friends from high school I hadnt talked to in years. I reached out to mentors. I reached out to a cousin I h adnt talked to in a long-time, which relationship has become quite strained over the years.In my audio texts, I expressed genuine love and appreciation. I thanked them for specific experiences we had had together, and told them how meaningful those experiences were to me. I brought humor and fun into the messages when it made sense.The replies I got to these audio messages were unexpected and sometimes unbelievable.More than once, I had someone reach back and told me they were in tears. I had one person tell me I had followed the spirit and that I reached out at just the right time and said exactly what he needed to hear. Crazy, right?I rekindled old ties that had long since faded away.Theres a lot of really cool science behind what Im currently describing. Ill start with gratitudeThe Science Of GratitudeGratitude has clearly been found to change people. When you express gratitude to people, it changes how you view and regard them.You actually see and treat people differently after youve expressed gratitude to them. This fits with two really great prozentzahls that I loveDr. Wayne Dyer said, When you change the way you see things, the things you see change.Also, the famous philosopher Goethe said, The way you see someone is the way you treat them and the way you treat them is who they will become.Thus, when you see someone or something differently, you treat that thing or person differently. When you treat them differently, they change.But not only do they change, you change. Which brings me to how motivation and identity workThe science of identityTheres a concept in psychology known as self-signaling, which basically means that you judge and evaluate yourself based on your behavior.When you act kind, you perceive yourself to be kind. When you wake up early and start your day right, you see yourself as someone who is motivated. Put simply, your behavior shapes your identity. Your behavior also shapes your beliefs.When you change your identity, your personalit y begins transforming as well. According to Dr. Maxwell Maltz in his powerful book, Psycho-Cybernetics, The self-image is the key to human personality and human behavior. Change the self image and you change the personality and the behavior.How do you change the identity? You change the behavior. Then, as your behavior changes, your identity changes. Desire comes first, then decision, then action, then identity, then personality. Once your personality changes, you own it. Its now a part of you.So how do you become a good friend?You start acting like a good friend. And a very simple and powerful way to do this is by sending audio-texts to your friends and to anybody really. You could send texts to seriously anyone whose phone number you have and express appreciation. The more specific the appreciation, the more memorable. The more you connect that appreciation to relevant things, the more memorable it will be to the other person. Thus, not only can you rekindle friendships, you can c reate new ones.This will of course change the people you are talking to (especially if they really need some love). It will also transform the relationship. And indeed, it will transform you.Your behavior will change how you see yourself. When you start acting like a better friend, youll see yourself as more friendly. Your gratitude will change you. It will increase your self-esteem.But not only that, your behavior will increase your motivation. Which brings me to another strand of science.The science of motivationYour behavior shapes your motivation, not the other way around. As Harvard psychologist Jerome Bruner has said, Youre more likely to act yourself into feeling, than feeling yourself into action.Heres what most people have wrong about motivation. They believe motivation leads to action. This is the opposite of truth. Action creates motivation. As famous entrepreneurial coach, Dan Sullivan has said, Good things only happen when you are in motion.Thus, when you start sending greater love to your friends, youll feel even more motivated to be a better friend and person. Similar to motivation is inspiration. How do you get inspired? You act. You wake up early and start exercising, even if initially you dont want to.How you feel in the moment doesnt really matter. What does matter are the feelings youll have as a result. Again, your behavior shapes your identity, beliefs, and motivation.You can make doing the right thing become automatic once you become accustomed to the results that come by doing the right thing. As you act powerfully, youll develop confidence. When dispels yet another myth people have about success.Its not confidence that creates success - its successful behavior that creates confidence. So, when you do what you tell yourself youre going to do and start getting small wins, youll develop more confidence.Heres a powerful principle to live by Do what is right let the consequence follow.This is how confidence forms.And why do amazing things, like wake up early, exercise, practice personal development, and become a better friend?Because you deserve it. And because you love yourself. You are worth investing in.You are worth waking up early for.Youre worth becoming a successful person.Youre worth becoming incredibly happy and healthy.Your worth living a life your proud of.You should make powerful decisions because you love yourself. Thats why I wake up at 5 AM, because I love myself. Im worth having a good day. Im worth being motivated, inspired and powerful.So are you.And you demonstrate that self-worth through powerful choices. You can make those choices today. In fact, you must start making them now. As Meredith Willson said, You pile up enough tomorrows, and youll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays.The secret to developing powerful connections with anyoneLife gives to the giver and takes from the taker. - Joe PolishJoe Polish is one of the most connected people in business. He has a strategy for enhancing connections. He calls it his Magic Rapport Formula. The principles of his formula areFocus on how you will help others reduce their sufferingInvest time, money, and energy on relationshipsBe the type of person they would always answer the phone forBe useful, grateful, and valuableTreat others how you would love to be treatedAvoid formalities, be fun and memorable, not boringAppreciate peopleGive value on the spotGet as close to in-person as you canSo many of these principles are life-changing. If you apply these concepts, you will become an incredible friend. Youll build a world-class network. Youll become extremely successful in life and business. To quote Zig Ziglar, You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.Heres why iPhone audio-texting is so powerful. It allows you to be as close to in-person as you can. Of course, you can send a video text if youd like. However, audio is powerful because a person can listen t o your words, in your voice, and be able to reflect. Sometimes a video can look a little strange (not that you shouldnt do it).How to be continually transformed by lifeContinual learning is essential for lifetime growth. You can have a great deal of experience and be no smarter for all the things youve done, seen, and heard. Experience alone is no guarantee of lifetime growth. But if you regularly transform your experiences into new lessons, you will make each day of your life a source of growth. The smartest people are those who can transform even the smallest events or situations into breakthroughs in thinking and action. Look at all of life as a school and every experience as a lesson, and your learning will always be greater than your experience. - Dan Sullivan and Catherine NomuraThere is a key concept in psychology known as openness to experience. In fact, it is one of the BIG 5 factors of personality. Sadly, as most people age, they become increasingly less open to having new experiences. Most people progressively stop seeking friendships with new types of people and avoid taking on new challenges and risks. They stop seeking new information that conflicts with their current perspectives and way of life. Hence, it is common for people to becoming increasingly set in their ways as they age.Experiences can and should change you. Yet, many people go through life experiences completely shut-off to what their experiences could teach them.If you learn from the experiences life is giving you, you will change. Youll be able to produce better outcomes. Youll be able to stop doing the things that are keeping you in unhealthy patterns. Your personality will change, and it should. Personality is largely based on memory, which should be continuously changing and expanding with new connections and associations.I recently had a conversation with a friend who had a very transformational experience serving a 2-year humanitarian and service mission for his church. A self -proclaimed introvert, he said that every day of his mission was hard because he had to be an extrovert during those 2 years. Once he got home, he went right back to being an introvert.He said that he actually believed he could have made permanent changes in his personality based on his experiences. However, he said that he preferred being an introvert. As such, he didnt really want to let his experiences sink-in. He didnt want to change who he was. Theres too much unknown in that. And as research shows, the fear of the unknown is the foundation of all fears.Why go against my preference? he asked me.I guess you dont need to if youre FULLY satisfied with the results youre currently getting and the trajectory youre on, I replied.Without question, a person can upgrade their preferences. They can learn to love something they didnt love before which actually builds on core strengths.Identity is like memory - its infinite. You dont have to be just an introvert OR an extrovert. You can be a completely well-rounded person who absorbs and allows all of life experiences to transform and expand them. Theres no need to put yourself into such a limiting box as a personality type.So how do you become more open to new experiences?Firstly, you need to be humble, which means that you are open to the fact that your current way of seeing and doing things isnt the best way to do them. In other words, you need to be open to the fact that your current preferences arent optimal, and can and should be upgraded.The term humility comes from the Latin word humilitas, a noun related to the adjective humilis, which may be translated as humble, but also as grounded, or from the earth.Humility and humidity are linguistically very connected, and for good reason.The word humidity is all about moisture and wetness. Humility, represents the soil. If the soil is humble, it absorbs the humidity. If the soil is not humble but hard, then it doesnt absorb the humidity.Humble soil accepts the nutrie nts that humidity brings it.Similarly, humble people absorb new information and new experiences. They are changed by their experiences. They dont close themselves off to them. They dont revert back to old ways after life-changing experiences. Their learning becomes permanent and a part of them. Not temporary and forgotten.Are you humble?Do you absorb all that life is giving you?Or, like most people, are you closed-off to new experiences?Does your learning become permanent, or is most of it forgotten and senfgas?Do you believe your preferences are the best approach? Or, are you willing to expand your vision for yourself and what you can be?Are you stuck in a personality type? Or do you realize that you as a person are infinite?Memory is infinite. So is a persons potential to change, if theyre humble and open. If they begin behaving in powerful ways, their whole life will change.The power of prayer and journal writingI have so much to do today that Im going to need to spend three hour s in prayer in order to be able to get it all done. - Martin LutherOne of the most powerful ways to get insights is by writing in your journal. If youre uncomfortable with the notion of prayer, you can obviously meditate instead.Meditation is without question, a very powerful tool.Meditation allows you to transform curiosity and action into reflection, which then can lead to better outcomes.However, as for myself, prayer takes meditation to a whole new level. If you believe in a higher power or source, then what could possibly be more powerful than proactively seeking connection with that source?Most of my best insights come while writing in my journal after Ive specifically prayed to get inspiration during my journaling session. This is a skill Ive developed over a decade and its taught me how to receive continuous inspiration, clarity, and direction in my life.Ive learned how to journal in a stream-of-consciousness manner, wherein many unexpected ideas come to my mind while Im wri ting.While writing, people often come to my mind. After having read about Matthew Cowley, and seeking to become a better friend myself, I now send audio text messages to the people who come to my mind. Im grateful for incredible technologies that allow me to develop deeper connections with friends and family.When someone pops into my mind, I step away from my journal for 12 minutes, send a powerful and genuine audio-text, and then continue on with my journaling.As Ive done thisIts changed my relationshipsIts changed the people who have received my inspired messagesIts changed me - allowing me to become a better friendIts changed how I view myselfIts inspired me in so many other waysYour life can change when you start making your life more about other people. As Dan Sullivan has said, In the end, we are only whom we have empowered.Heres the thing, when your life becomes about other people, that doesnt mean its not also about your goals. Instead, your goals just have a higher purpose . You show up differently to help more people, and also to be a better example to your loved ones.You can absolutely balance a life of achievement and contribution. You can be wildly successful while at the same time being a good friend.ConclusionThe bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone. - Harriet Beecher StoweSending audio-text messages over the past few weeks has changed my life. Its changed my relationships. And I believe my small notes have also had a very positive impact on the people Ive sent them to.Here are some questions for you to consider as you meditate and reflect upon this articleAre you humble?Do you absorb the experiences life is giving you?Are you open to new experiences?Are you continually learning new and better ways to live?Are you putting those into practice?Are you a good friend?Do you want to be a good friend?Do you want to have deeper relationships?Do you want to be more motivated and inspired?Do you want to become a better version of yourself?Hopefully, this article has provided some insight into how you can begin answering these questions for yourself.Also, hopefully this article has inspired you to use your iPhone in a new way ??Ready to upgrade?Ive created a cheat sheet for putting yourself into a PEAK-STATE, immediately. You follow this daily, your life will change very quickly.Get the cheat sheet hereThisarticlewas originally published onMedium.This iPhone feature can radically improve life and relationshipsRecently, I read a book about a man named Matthew Cowley, who was an incredible missionary and humanitarian to the people in New Zealand over 100 years ago.The book detailed the mans life and one thing really stood-out to me. Throughout Cowleys life, he was regarded by thousands of people to be a truly good friend.This subject spoke to me because friendship is becoming an increasingly complex and confusing topic.What does it mean to be a good friend?What does being a good friend look like in a world of constant connection?Cowley lived long before the internet. But he did a few things that are extremely relevant that I think all of us could do today. Moreover, with new technologies, we can actually make our friendships even more intimate than ever.The two things Cowley did well wereRemember peoples names, important aspects of them, and even birthdaysHe would often write heartfelt and humorous letters to people throughout the yearsIn this article, Im going to briefly share how to radically enhance your memory, since remembering key details is essential to becoming a good friend.Im also going to explain why the iPhone audio-text message feature is potentially one of the most powerful tools for developing deep and meaningful friendships. Without question, when you become a good friend, you will change peoples lives. Youll pull people out of slumps you didnt even know they were in. Youll be an answer to their prayers. Youll give them strength in times of need. Youll cheer them up and allow them to appreciate the small things in life. Youll trigger memories theyve long since forgotten.By the end of this article, you will understandHow to improve your memoryHow to become an incredible friendHow to take the most from your experiences in lifeHow to positively transform yourself and also transform othersHow motivation works (and how to have limitless motivation)How identity is formed, and how to reshape your identity and become the best version of yourselfHow to connect deeply with anyoneA quick primer on enhancing your memory (which is required to be a good friend)When you train your creativity, you automatically train your memory. When you train your memory, you automatically train your creative thinking skills - Tony BuzanIve recently written a post about how to enhance your memory. Without question, most people fail to utilize their long-term memory. There is no limit to the storage of memories we can have. Our subconscious has an infinite band width.Most peoples problem is that they lack powerful strategies for enhancing memory. Heres a simple breakdownMemory is all about imaginationThe more imaginative you are when formulating a memory, the stronger that memory isMemory is about connecting what you already know with what you are trying to knowWhen it comes to remembering names, you want to link that persons name with another feature of that person, and connect it to something meaningful to youI recently met a person named Jacob, which was easy because I have a brother named Jacob. I tried to be mindful about how this new Jacob may remind me of my brother - even if in a seemingly ridiculous way. It doesnt matter how ridiculous the connection is. In fact, the more imaginative the better. And the more connections you make, the deeper the memory will be forged.Put simply, you can remember nearly every persons name you meet if you actually give attention and care. Ask a few questions about the person when you meet them and w hile youre actively listening, make imaginative connections that trigger a deep memory.I know Ill never forget that kid, Jacobs name. .I know that my memory is infinite and powerful. I know that your memory is infinite and powerful.In order to be a good friend, you need to remember people. Firstly, you need to remember their name, but you also need to remember key details about them. Once you get good at memory, you can remember lots and lots of details in a short amount of time.Which brings me to writing letters. And really, which brings me to the iPhone. This is an article about an iPhone feature after all.Audio-texting is the new hand-written letter for good friendsHand-written letters are indeed important. In a world of digital and surface-level communication, nothing is more powerful that a personal touch.However, I recently became aware of the audio-text message feature on my iPhone. And after reading about Matthew Cowley, I decided to start sending audio letters to my friends and family.While writing in my journal one night, several people started popping into my head. When someone would pop into my mind, Id pull out my phone and send them and audio-text message.Sometimes, the people who came to my mind were old friends from high school I hadnt talked to in years. I reached out to mentors. I reached out to a cousin I hadnt talked to in a long-time, which relationship has become quite strained over the years.In my audio texts, I expressed genuine love and appreciation. I thanked them for specific experiences we had had together, and told them how meaningful those experiences were to me. I brought humor and fun into the messages when it made sense.The replies I got to these audio messages were unexpected and sometimes unbelievable.More than once, I had someone reach back and told me they were in tears. I had one person tell me I had followed the spirit and that I reached out at just the right time and said exactly what he needed to hear. Crazy, right?I re kindled old ties that had long since faded away.Theres a lot of really cool science behind what Im currently describing. Ill start with gratitudeThe Science Of GratitudeGratitude has clearly been found to change people. When you express gratitude to people, it changes how you view and regard them.You actually see and treat people differently after youve expressed gratitude to them. This fits with two really great quotes that I loveDr. Wayne Dyer said, When you change the way you see things, the things you see change.Also, the famous philosopher Goethe said, The way you see someone is the way you treat them and the way you treat them is who they will become.Thus, when you see someone or something differently, you treat that thing or person differently. When you treat them differently, they change.But not only do they change, you change. Which brings me to how motivation and identity workThe science of identityTheres a concept in psychology known as self-signaling, which basically mea ns that you judge and evaluate yourself based on your behavior.When you act kind, you perceive yourself to be kind. When you wake up early and start your day right, you see yourself as someone who is motivated. Put simply, your behavior shapes your identity. Your behavior also shapes your beliefs.When you change your identity, your personality begins transforming as well. According to Dr. Maxwell Maltz in his powerful book, Psycho-Cybernetics, The self-image is the key to human personality and human behavior. Change the self image and you change the personality and the behavior.How do you change the identity? You change the behavior. Then, as your behavior changes, your identity changes. Desire comes first, then decision, then action, then identity, then personality. Once your personality changes, you own it. Its now a part of you.So how do you become a good friend?You start acting like a good friend. And a very simple and powerful way to do this is by sending audio-texts to your fr iends and to anybody really. You could send texts to seriously anyone whose phone number you have and express appreciation. The more specific the appreciation, the more memorable. The more you connect that appreciation to relevant things, the more memorable it will be to the other person. Thus, not only can you rekindle friendships, you can create new ones.This will of course change the people you are talking to (especially if they really need some love). It will also transform the relationship. And indeed, it will transform you.Your behavior will change how you see yourself. When you start acting like a better friend, youll see yourself as more friendly. Your gratitude will change you. It will increase your self-esteem.But not only that, your behavior will increase your motivation. Which brings me to another strand of science.The science of motivationYour behavior shapes your motivation, not the other way around. As Harvard psychologist Jerome Bruner has said, Youre more likely to act yourself into feeling, than feeling yourself into action.Heres what most people have wrong about motivation. They believe motivation leads to action. This is the opposite of truth. Action creates motivation. As famous entrepreneurial coach, Dan Sullivan has said, Good things only happen when you are in motion.Thus, when you start sending greater love to your friends, youll feel even more motivated to be a better friend and person. Similar to motivation is inspiration. How do you get inspired? You act. You wake up early and start exercising, even if initially you dont want to.How you feel in the moment doesnt really matter. What does matter are the feelings youll have as a result. Again, your behavior shapes your identity, beliefs, and motivation.You can make doing the right thing become automatic once you become accustomed to the results that come by doing the right thing. As you act powerfully, youll develop confidence. When dispels yet another myth people have about success.It s not confidence that creates success - its successful behavior that creates confidence. So, when you do what you tell yourself youre going to do and start getting small wins, youll develop more confidence.Heres a powerful principle to live by Do what is right let the consequence follow.This is how confidence forms.And why do amazing things, like wake up early, exercise, practice personal development, and become a better friend?Because you deserve it. And because you love yourself. You are worth investing in.You are worth waking up early for.Youre worth becoming a successful person.Youre worth becoming incredibly happy and healthy.Your worth living a life your proud of.You should make powerful decisions because you love yourself. Thats why I wake up at 5 AM, because I love myself. Im worth having a good day. Im worth being motivated, inspired and powerful.So are you.And you demonstrate that self-worth through powerful choices. You can make those choices today. In fact, you must sta rt making them now. As Meredith Willson said, You pile up enough tomorrows, and youll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays.The secret to developing powerful connections with anyoneLife gives to the giver and takes from the taker. - Joe PolishJoe Polish is one of the most connected people in business. He has a strategy for enhancing connections. He calls it his Magic Rapport Formula. The principles of his formula areFocus on how you will help others reduce their sufferingInvest time, money, and energy on relationshipsBe the type of person they would always answer the phone forBe useful, grateful, and valuableTreat others how you would love to be treatedAvoid formalities, be fun and memorable, not boringAppreciate peopleGive value on the spotGet as close to in-person as you canSo many of these principles are life-changing. If you apply these concepts, you will become an incredible friend. Youll build a world-class network. Youll become extremely successful in life and business. To quote Zig Ziglar, You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.Heres why iPhone audio-texting is so powerful. It allows you to be as close to in-person as you can. Of course, you can send a video text if youd like. However, audio is powerful because a person can listen to your words, in your voice, and be able to reflect. Sometimes a video can look a little strange (not that you shouldnt do it).How to be continually transformed by lifeContinual learning is essential for lifetime growth. You can have a great deal of experience and be no smarter for all the things youve done, seen, and heard. Experience alone is no guarantee of lifetime growth. But if you regularly transform your experiences into new lessons, you will make each day of your life a source of growth. The smartest people are those who can transform even the smallest events or situations into breakthroughs in thinking and action. Look at all of life a s a school and every experience as a lesson, and your learning will always be greater than your experience. - Dan Sullivan and Catherine NomuraThere is a key concept in psychology known as openness to experience. In fact, it is one of the BIG 5 factors of personality. Sadly, as most people age, they become increasingly less open to having new experiences. Most people progressively stop seeking friendships with new types of people and avoid taking on new challenges and risks. They stop seeking new information that conflicts with their current perspectives and way of life. Hence, it is common for people to becoming increasingly set in their ways as they age.Experiences can and should change you. Yet, many people go through life experiences completely shut-off to what their experiences could teach them.If you learn from the experiences life is giving you, you will change. Youll be able to produce better outcomes. Youll be able to stop doing the things that are keeping you in unhealthy patterns. Your personality will change, and it should. Personality is largely based on memory, which should be continuously changing and expanding with new connections and associations.I recently had a conversation with a friend who had a very transformational experience serving a 2-year humanitarian and service mission for his church. A self-proclaimed introvert, he said that every day of his mission was hard because he had to be an extrovert during those 2 years. Once he got home, he went right back to being an introvert.He said that he actually believed he could have made permanent changes in his personality based on his experiences. However, he said that he preferred being an introvert. As such, he didnt really want to let his experiences sink-in. He didnt want to change who he was. Theres too much unknown in that. And as research shows, the fear of the unknown is the foundation of all fears.Why go against my preference? he asked me.I guess you dont need to if youre FULLY satisf ied with the results youre currently getting and the trajectory youre on, I replied.Without question, a person can upgrade their preferences. They can learn to love something they didnt love before which actually builds on core strengths.Identity is like memory - its infinite. You dont have to be just an introvert OR an extrovert. You can be a completely well-rounded person who absorbs and allows all of life experiences to transform and expand them. Theres no need to put yourself into such a limiting box as a personality type.So how do you become more open to new experiences?Firstly, you need to be humble, which means that you are open to the fact that your current way of seeing and doing things isnt the best way to do them. In other words, you need to be open to the fact that your current preferences arent optimal, and can and should be upgraded.The term humility comes from the Latin word humilitas, a noun related to the adjective humilis, which may be translated as humble, but al so as grounded, or from the earth.Humility and humidity are linguistically very connected, and for good reason.The word humidity is all about moisture and wetness. Humility, represents the soil. If the soil is humble, it absorbs the humidity. If the soil is not humble but hard, then it doesnt absorb the humidity.Humble soil accepts the nutrients that humidity brings it.Similarly, humble people absorb new information and new experiences. They are changed by their experiences. They dont close themselves off to them. They dont revert back to old ways after life-changing experiences. Their learning becomes permanent and a part of them. Not temporary and forgotten.Are you humble?Do you absorb all that life is giving you?Or, like most people, are you closed-off to new experiences?Does your learning become permanent, or is most of it forgotten and lost?Do you believe your preferences are the best approach? Or, are you willing to expand your vision for yourself and what you can be?Are you s tuck in a personality type? Or do you realize that you as a person are infinite?Memory is infinite. So is a persons potential to change, if theyre humble and open. If they begin behaving in powerful ways, their whole life will change.The power of prayer and journal writingI have so much to do today that Im going to need to spend three hours in prayer in order to be able to get it all done. - Martin LutherOne of the most powerful ways to get insights is by writing in your journal. If youre uncomfortable with the notion of prayer, you can obviously meditate instead.Meditation is without question, a very powerful tool.Meditation allows you to transform curiosity and action into reflection, which then can lead to better outcomes.However, as for myself, prayer takes meditation to a whole new level. If you believe in a higher power or source, then what could possibly be more powerful than proactively seeking connection with that source?Most of my best insights come while writing in my jou rnal after Ive specifically prayed to get inspiration during my journaling session. This is a skill Ive developed over a decade and its taught me how to receive continuous inspiration, clarity, and direction in my life.Ive learned how to journal in a stream-of-consciousness manner, wherein many unexpected ideas come to my mind while Im writing.While writing, people often come to my mind. After having read about Matthew Cowley, and seeking to become a better friend myself, I now send audio text messages to the people who come to my mind. Im grateful for incredible technologies that allow me to develop deeper connections with friends and family.When someone pops into my mind, I step away from my journal for 12 minutes, send a powerful and genuine audio-text, and then continue on with my journaling.As Ive done thisIts changed my relationshipsIts changed the people who have received my inspired messagesIts changed me - allowing me to become a better friendIts changed how I view myselfI ts inspired me in so many other waysYour life can change when you start making your life more about other people. As Dan Sullivan has said, In the end, we are only whom we have empowered.Heres the thing, when your life becomes about other people, that doesnt mean its not also about your goals. Instead, your goals just have a higher purpose. You show up differently to help more people, and also to be a better example to your loved ones.You can absolutely balance a life of achievement and contribution. You can be wildly successful while at the same time being a good friend.ConclusionThe bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone. - Harriet Beecher StoweSending audio-text messages over the past few weeks has changed my life. Its changed my relationships. And I believe my small notes have also had a very positive impact on the people Ive sent them to.Here are some questions for you to consider as you meditate and reflect upon this articleAre you hum ble?Do you absorb the experiences life is giving you?Are you open to new experiences?Are you continually learning new and better ways to live?Are you putting those into practice?Are you a good friend?Do you want to be a good friend?Do you want to have deeper relationships?Do you want to be more motivated and inspired?Do you want to become a better version of yourself?Hopefully, this article has provided some insight into how you can begin answering these questions for yourself.Also, hopefully this article has inspired you to use your iPhone in a new way ??Ready to upgrade?Ive created a cheat sheet for putting yourself into a PEAK-STATE, immediately. You follow this daily, your life will change very quickly.Get the cheat sheet hereThisarticlewas originally published onMedium.